How The Past Is Your Biggest Enemy When Handling Life

-By Paul A. Philips

Handling Life-iNewParadigm
Handling life: Caused by incidents in life that may have given you embarrassment, pain and trauma, your dark, shadowy past stops you from being fully in present time. Think how much more effective you could be in life if those aberrant energies locked up in your past were set free and allowed to function in present time.
 
Your past can affect you in a number of ways. Before dealing with the past, learning how to overcome its potentially debilitating affect in certain circumstances and gain mastery  here are 5 things showing how the past is your biggest enemy when handling life.
 
1. Fear
Look at it like this. Fear gets you most when you’re unwilling to confront it. The old adage “the more you resist the more you become” is definitely the operative here. Irrational fears, phobias, insecurities, anxieties… can be traced to similar recurring events from the past: You’re in a state of fear not just by what you are experiencing but because it’s related to other similar circumstances in your past.
3. Guilt
Living an emotional guilt-racked life is a potential crippler. Healthy guilt is essentially a warning sign related to something that’s gotten out of control.
 
Say, for example, if we find ourselves neglecting a loved one by not visiting them when they’re ill then guilt will serve as a warning sign, telling us to visit that person or otherwise he/she will fall out with you… So we take heed, point our moral compass in the right direction by visiting that person.
 
However, when we don’t take heed or are unable to, that’s when problems start. Then there’s guilt from those things that we don’t need to take heed with or fix. This is irrational guilt.
 
For example, a mother may feel guilty for having left her child and gone to part-time work. This is irrational guilt because children have shown us that they can get along fine without their mums and develop normally…
Guilt can bring about a range of ill health problems.
 
4. Mistrust
A number of recurring exact/similar incidents can lead us to mistrust. That’s fine when our mistrust is appropriate, serving us well to deal with those dodgy circumstances… However, embarrassing, painful or traumatic experiences from the past can lead us to inappropriate mistrust. Mistrust causes us misjudgement, gives rise to avoidant behaviour, and puts us in a state of irrational fear…
 
5. Lack of confidence
Coming from past-related circumstances, if you have low-self esteem then you will in turn have a lack of confidence in your abilities. Even when having been successful those with a lack of self confidence still have unreal expectations due to mistrust in themselves.
 
Dealing with your past
It’s quite simple, either your past runs you or you run it for handling life. There are 2 ways of dealing with your past. The first is to work through the things in your past, identifying those dark aspects that try to own and control you then it becomes easier to not be the effect of them.
 
The second is to learn to confront the past in present time. To confront does not imply to ‘bear fisticuffs’ but to just simply ‘be there’ and allow yourself to experience whatever comes up; the fear, anxiety, possible anger, guilt, mistrust and lack of confidence…
 
In short, be in the presence of fear and just allow it to be. When you have that willingness to be with your fear and confront it then it no longer has you, you have it.
 
Yes, it’s not easy, but with practice this is the key to gaining mastery in handling life.
 
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-By Paul A. Phillips

 

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